The other day I found myself in a precarious position as a life empowerment mentor I was on the receiving end of a rude and shocking call, where after I closed the phone, I wanted to return communication fire with an F-bomb, or two. I was so heated and offended by what this person said, that nothing short of lowering myself to their level, and grapple in come-back sarcasm, felt right.
However, there was just one problem. Ever since I was young I’ve been keenly aware of the power of words. For whatever reason, I’ve understood that words are energy, and that people on the receiving end of my mouth could be greatly affected by what spewed out. Including me.
Some might say my “word awareness” is an amazing gift. But truthfully speaking, it hasn’t always served me well. For example, over the years there’s been countless times where my lack of verbal response was misinterpreted as a weakness, or as "not being concerned." There’s been many instances where my silence was mistaken as an opinion deficiency, thereby prompting others to speak for me, or worse, attempt to take advantage of me. There was even a long season when my word sensitivity looped me into the bonds of co-dependence. I was so worried about other people’s feelings, that I neglected to say things (for the sake of my well-being) that needed to be said.
Needless to say, my awareness of the power of words has been a long-standing quandary. But last month, I had a huge break-though.
In the effort of continuous expansion, I put myself on an emotional recalibration program. For the entire month, I committed to implementing 4 tasks:
1) I committed to releasing all the “unnecessary” things that occupied my mind (check).
2) I committed to stop doing anything I didn’t want to do; which as I began this practice years ago, only required a slight refresh (check).
3) I stopped having useless conversations on topics that drained me of my energy and got me nowhere (check). And…
4) I committed to speaking my truth, without bridle. (Stall).
Once again, my gift of word awareness was standing in the way of my personal growth.
As a student of thought, one of my treasured classic authors is a lady by the name of Florence Shovel Shinn. Florence wrote a book in 1925 called “The Game of Life and How to Play It.” In her work, she makes a statement about the purpose of words where she says, “Mankind only dares to use his words for 3 purposes: To bless. To heal. Or to prosper.”
And I couldn’t agree more. Words are energy. On a completely selfish level, they’re the boomerangs of Karma, that without a doubt, send to us exactly what we put out to the universe. It only makes logical sense therefore, for us to send-out positivity, so that positivity can circle back to us.
Yet, in all practicality, how does that concept play-out in real life? Meaning, how are we “to heal, bless or prosper” a person with our words, when in all fairness, the only thing that rude person deserves is an F-bomb response?! Or, if words are truly the boomerangs of Karma, how do we protect our self when confronting a boundary-violator, who’s trying to usurp our universe?
The answer is that when we find our self on the verge of an F-bomb retaliation, rather than stoop to the level of the ass with the attitude, we can instead make the choice to package our response in the feel-good energy of “healing.” Meaning, we can make the choice to consciously “package” our words in direct, but healing vibrations of energy, (rather than angry words of retaliation) because when we do, the end result will be a feel-good healing for all.
Let me explain.
When someone violates us, it’s normal to take offense. However, when triggered, we don't have to react with nuclear, verbal cross-fire to make our anger known. We can respond in much more productive ways by speaking words of healing, instead.
For example, we can use direct words such as, “No, that doesn’t work for me”; and feel good about our "Haallll To The No" response, because these words are not retaliation, or tic-for-tack (which are both negative emotions.) Instead, these words are healing tools of self protection, which sends positive energy to the universe; which means positivity will eventually return to us.
Or, when someone’s actions are destroying our life and we set boundaries that say, “I won’t support your bad behavior”, we don't have to feel guilt or false abandonment. We can instead embrace the fact that our "tough" words are actually healing, feel-good tools grounded in love. Meaning, they are tools that in the name of love, are refusing to support the demise of someone we love; including our self. Can you say feel good?
Or, when someone tries to take something that is not rightfully theirs and we're forced to say, “No, you can’t have my dream (dignity, money, or body) - THEY ARE MINE; we don’t need to feel aggression towards their inappropriateness. Instead we can feel good because these healing words did two important things. 1) They protected what was rightfully ours (which is definitely a feel good action). And 2) They sent the person on the receiving end, back to their life’s path! Which in the long run will create healing for them. Which means the “feel-good” healing, will circle back to us. Which at the end of the day empowers us to continue walking in Self-Love. Which, as a person who has cruised on both sides of the path, is the one thing I always say, must be non-negotiable.
And the good news, is that we can walk this love based journey even when triggered by another person's inappropriateness. All we have to do is learn how to change our pitch, and make the conscious choice to throw feel good healing, instead of F-bombs of retaliation, when faced with offense.