Step one in Mental Anti-Aging is placing a value on the Self.
Step 1: resuscitation
So here is a real life share. For most of my life, I felt that something was drastically missing inside of me. It was a symptom that I self-diagnosed as the “Hole in My Soul” syndrome.
If you are not familiar with the “Hole in My Soul” syndrome, it is a condition that is identified by an intense, internal ache and hollowness that runs so deep within us, that we have no idea where it begins or where it ends.
The “Hole in My Soul” syndrome is not to be confused with loneliness, as many people with the syndrome have plenty of friends and loved ones to fill that gap. It is also not a feeling of emptiness, as many of those with the syndrome have purpose, God, goals, passion, and drive.
The “Hole in My Soul” syndrome instead is a condition where the barer of the hole has a chronic sense of longing or “missing” (similar to what you would feel if you lost your puppy or your best friend) that for reasons beyond your understandings, leaves you feeling that “something” on the inside is missing; and as a result, we are not whole.
1. the action or process of reviving someone from unconsciousness or apparent death.
2. the action of making something active or vigorous again.
For many years I spent both time and money trying to fill this invisible hole in my soul with remedies that ranged from professional counseling, to overachieving, to spiritual warfare (and more) all with little success. That was until May 2014, when again I found myself feeling invisible, suffering from yet another internal ambush of anxiety and depression, and again unable to get true financial traction under my feet - in spite of all my hard work, effort, and years of being in the empowerment business for years.
My tipping point happened when one day while sitting at my writing desk, having yet another conversation (or more like a complaint session) with my Higher Power about my latest bout of emotional pain, when suddenly my monologue was interrupted with one of my Divine Downloads. It simply said, "Soul Questions."
Allow me to digress for a moment. Since childhood, I have always received what I call my "Divine Downloads." These downloads are messages from my God Source (whom I refer to as The Great Divine) that are filled with emotional wisdom far beyond my current pay grade. That is in fact is how I know they are not my thoughts or ideas, as they are far more progressive, expansive, and wiser than my human Self.
Well, not being familiar with the term "Soul Questions" I went to Google in search of my answers, only to discover that Google was also not familiar with the phrase. I took the bait and with curiosity asked, "What in the heck is a Soul Question?" In which the answer I received changed the trajectory of my life. My download said:
"A Soul Question is the question your soul arrives to this existence with, that we are to spend a lifetime unveiling, uncovering and discovering.
It is in a sense, our life’s quest."
It took about a milli-second to look inward and without hesitation my soul question blurted:
"What does it mean to authentically love yourself?'
THE MAGIC CARPET RIDE THAT CHANGED MY LIFE.
My journey into the world of Self-Love happened over 8 years ago and to date, it has been the magic carpet ride that transported my life into something literally magical. Self-Love was the:
Missing piece to healing my fractured soul.
It was the flashlight that connected me to my Authentic Self;
It was the soap that washed away my wrong programming and faulty inner identities.
It was the key that opened let in my inner warrior who now has the skillset to keep me safe and stop negotiating my woman-ness.
It was the foundation that gave my emotional legs something to finally stand-up on.
It was the permission slip that unleashed my Divine Feminine.
It was the internal fuel source that catapulted my energetic vibrations to vibrate on a level where I can now effortlessly manifest my dreams, love, and money.
And best of all, it was a substance that filled that hole in my soul, that made me congruent, and that finally put the wheel of my life in the power of my hands.
But why is Self-Love such a life skill power tool?
The answer is because,
Without a sense of Self, there is no Self.
Meaning, without a sense of self, we are powerless to protect our self. We are powerless to dream and create for our self. We are powerless to provide for our self. We are powerless to attract the healthiest of love for our self.
In other words,
“Without Self-Love, there is NO Self, and without a Self, we are left powerless.”
And this is not a Tracyism.
Dr. Bernie Seigel from the American Holistic Medical Association says, “The fundamental
problem most people face is NOT illness. It’s the inability to Love, themselves.”
Psychology Today in quoting Abraham Maslow, the creator of Self Actualization says, “Without a strong foundation and a strong sense of self, we are unable to take the risks and make the necessary decisions to live a fulfilling, productive and active life. A
low self-esteem can erode our Love life, our careers, our family bonds and more important, our internal sense of well-being. A healthy self-esteem, on the other hand, contributes to problem solving and assertiveness.”
WITHOUT SELF-LOVE, THERE IS NO SELF
IF SELF-LOVE IS SO IMPORTANT, WHY ARE WE MISSING IT?
If Self-Love is so important to our survival and success, why then did I (and so many of us) never receive its teachings? The answer is because culturally, Self-Love has been grossly misrepresented. On one side, it is show ponied like a pink lollipop trophy that lacks anything but healthy respect. On the other hand, it is mis conveyed as narcissism, ego or entitlement, which in truth neither represent authentic Self-Love.
If you ask the average person “What is Self-Love?” you will get answers such as, “Self-Love is how you feel about yourself.’” Or “It is the respect that you show yourself.” That however is
incorrect. Respecting yourself or feeling positive regard for yourself, are the results of Self-
Love. But the substance of Self-Love is something much, much different.
I have spent a lifetime in the quest of understanding Self-Love, specifically with the last 8 years researching how to create a steely foundation of Self-Love, and here is what I am excited to share with you.
Self-Love, which I believe is not a luxury but instead a necessity, looks much like a
boardwalk. Meaning, that just as a boardwalk is made of side-by-side planks, Self-Love is also made of many individual planks, that consist of various beliefs, principles, and tools, that collectively create a steely foundation under our emotional feet.
WHAT IS SELF-LOVE
But here is what is more important. My research has proven that sufferances such as:
Emotional traumas, including depression, anxiety or the Hole in your Soul syndrome;
Self-visibility issues such as Self-Love Deficiency Disorder, Perfectionism, or the “I’m Sorry”
/ “Invisible Mirror Syndrome”;
Relationship pains such as codependency, narcissistic trauma or abandonment wounds;
Financial weaknesses such as bank account anorexia, manifestation mudslides or blurry
Even the “I’m losing my Beauty, Youth and Power” Syndrome,
These all have the power to enter our life because we are missing a plank in our foundation of Self-Love. And even better, I have discovered a formula where if you simply learn to identify the missing planks and then lay those planks in your foundation of Self-Love, these life zapping and life stopping forces cannot enter your existence anymore. That is why I personally believe that “Self-Love is Nonnegotiable.”
THE JOURNEY TO
My Beautiful Soul, I know from firsthand experience how difficult life feels when we operate without Self-Love. It can feel traction less. Exhausting. Aimless. And sometimes, down and out hopeless.
That is why The Journey to Self-Love is the only course in my Resuscitation Program, because I believe that:
Without a sense of Self, there is no Self. And if there is no Self we are left powerless.
If any of this resonates with you,
I want to gift you with a free coaching class from my personal recovery course
“The Journey to Self-Love” where I will share with you:
What exactly is (and is NOT) Self-Love
(I give you 6 clear definitions)
You will learn the 14 traits of Self-Love (which I promise you have never heard)
I will gift you with the Self-Love Criteria sheet, that you can use as your roadmap to your
And most healing and empowering, you will learn
WHY Self-Love must be a
nonnegotiable, and where the land of nonnegotiable is (which this will be a complete game changer.)